Britney Spears once fell asleep in her money pit. Yes, the superstar pop princess has a pit of money so deep that not even light (or Bette Midler) can escape. What does one do with all of this money? Buy a new house, of course! Britney “Melted Face” Spears bought herself an $8.5 million mansion. This isn’t just any mansion, because Brit’s new pad has 5 bedrooms (in case she wants to invite over her friends, you know?), 7 baths (she might be starting an animal rescue society?), a wine cellar (normal), home theater (somewhat normal) and a massive infinity pool (what the duck is an infinity pool?). The 8, 456 square foot home is located in the private community of Thousand Oaks (poor people live in the Hundred Oaks community with their 90 children and dead aunt), which is about 16 miles from Brit-Brit’s old mansion in Calabasas.
According to a TMZ report, Britney decided to move to a new home to start a life with her fiancé, Jason Trawick. The move will take her further away from Hollywood and place her squarely in the private pages of celebrity life. We think it’s important for the already neurotic Brit-Brit to move as far away from Hollywood as possible, because you know, she might be spotted and such. TMZ reports that Brit-Brit will be living in a Los Angeles hotel during The X-Factor USA live rounds, where she will be treated to the high life of an acerbic judge.
Could her move signal a settling down? Could this be Britney’s opportunity to finally move away from all of the madness and find her own perfect Utopia? We really hope so, because Britney’s been through some pretty trying times in her life, especially the upcoming Sam Lufti trial. We wish only the best for Brit-Brit, not because we’re happy go-lucky people who cry in soaps and soap, but because we want to take a dive in that damn money pit.
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