On last night’s season finale of True Blood this episode picks up where the other one left off, in the cemetary. Sookie is standing there watching them put the dirt over Terry’s grave, someone touches her from behind. Alcide is standing there (he is so freaking gorgeous). Sookie smiles and says your still here. Alcide tells her he thought she might need a ride to the Bellefleurs (that is the correct spelling, I goggled it). Sookie says she might need a walk first. Alcide tells her he can wait for her. Sookie tells him that he could come with her. Alcide smiles and tells her he could do that. They start to walk. Sookie and Alcide are discussing life and how she feels there is no rhyme and reason to it. Alcide tells her that life has plenty of that its just at times it seems that it doesn’t. She brings up Jason. Alcide assures her Jason is fine. Sookie tells him not many people can sneak up on her.
Alcide brings up how at the funeral she asked if he was a telepath, he goes on to say he would give anything to know what goes on in her head. (Alcide still adores her). She tells him her head is the last place he would ever want to be (Amen). Alcide sniffs the air, and its vampires he smells walking around in the daylight having a blast on Bills front lawn, having sex, and singing songs. Bill however goes inside. Sookie goes to talk to Jason. Alcide offers To go with. Sookie is Alcide please , I’m Sookie this is my thing walking into unknown situations oblivious to the danger and hoping it all works out, relax I got this this. Sookie starts walking amongst the vampires in awe that they are in the daylight but also that Bill knew what he was talking about. This one vamp wants someone to make a Target run (classic).
Violet has her teeth in Jason and he is telling her he wants to have sex with her. She is nope, not now,not gonna happen. She offers him some of her blood instead. Sookie goes running up to Jason and Violet gets eight kinds of psycho and has to be calmed down and convinced Sookie is his sister. Violet finally accepts it and then proceeds to make out with Sookie. Jason explains it away by telling Sookie she is European (lol).
Violet leaves so they can talk. Sookie ask Jason if he is ok. Jason tells her yes but he thinks he is in love with Violet. Sookie tells him to be careful. Pam comes running up to Sookie and hugs her and tells her she is actually happy to f**king see her. Tara hugs her next. Sookie hugs Jason and walks away. Bill watches her leave out the his window.
Sookie appears in the faerie plan where Warlow is decorating a May pole for the wedding ceremony. (I didn’t realize cemeteries came with chandeliers). Sookie walks over to him and he starts explaining the ceremony to her. Sookie tells him now that her friends are no longer in danger (and she realized she still has a thing for Alcide) she isn’t in a rush to get married and she would like for him to date her. Warlow responds by smacking her to the ground and then picking her up by her throat and asking her just who the f**k she thinks she is talking to.
Back at Bills the vampires are playing volleyball. Violet is jealous of Jessica and Jason’s friendship and decides now would be a perfect time to spike her with the volleyball (she went down and back just like one of the characters on Mario Sports Mix…lol). Poor Jessica.
Tara finds Pam. Pam ask Tara if Willa has realized Eric is gone yet. Tara tells her she doesn’t think so. When Pam tells Tara she is going after Eric, Tara gets pissed. Pam tells her if she makes this hard she will release her. Tara tells Pam that her and Eric are the worst makers. Pam tells her to take care of Willa. Pam vrooms off into the sky.
Bill is sitting in his house trying to Houdini a glass and failing. Jessica walks in and the glass crashes to the floor. Jessica knows something is wrong. Bill tells her he feels like his old self again. Jessica ask if that’s a bad thing. Not necessarily Bill tells her (a Lillith hangover must be a bitch). Bill goes on to tell her about Sookie and the deal she made to marry Warlow in order to save them. Jessica convinces Bill to go get Sookie. Bill ask where Jason is.
Jason is a little upset upon hearing that his sister might marry the guy who killed their parents. Jason wants to know what Bill did. Bill tells Jason he encouraged her. Jason tells Bill he just may kill him. Jessica and Violet both say his name. Jason ask what he needs to do to get Sookie. Bill tells him that she is in a faerie plane so they need another faerie like Andy’s daughter for example. Jessica knows that if her or Bill goes to ask Andy will say no. Jason and Violet go instead.
Bill is walking with the professor in the woods, he is begging for his life. Bill glamours him so he will not remember anything that has happened in the past few weeks he leaves a bag of cash by his feet.
Jason keeps knock knock knocking on Andy’s door. Andy opens it and when Jason tells him they have to invite them in Andy realizes Violet is a vampire and tells Holly to take his daughter upstairs. Violet tells him that even though his daughter smells delicious she won’t harm her. Jason starts talking to his daughter and explaining what is going on with Sookie. Adeline hears Jason’s thoughts and tells him she will help. Andy relents and tells the that they need to go in heavy. Next you see them getting guns and stakes.
Sookie is trying to break free of the vines she is tied to but her light isn’t working. Warlow explains he didn’t wait 5500 years to be part of her community or share her with her friends. That all he wanted is to own her so he can f**k her and feed on her. Sookie calls him a monster and he smiles. Warlow tells her it’s nighttime and he bites her neck.
Andy and Jason meet Bill at the entrance of the cemetery. They all go in together. Adeline talks to Sookie with her mind. She wants to know how to use her light to get to Sookie. Bill tries to help her , it doesn’t work. Bill says scaring her might work. Violet is more than happy to help, and sure enough they all end up in the faerie plane. Bill tells them to get Sookie and get out he stays there to fight Warlow.
Jason is carrying Sookie in his house, he invites Violet in. Andy wants to now where Adeline can hide. Jason tells her to go in the cubby inside the armoire (that is a big word for Jason I’m proud of him).
Warlow knocks Bill out of the faerie world and kicks his ass. Warlow leaves Bill laying there and takes off to get Sookie. Bill gets up and vrooms off.
Violet is giving Sookie some of her blood. When Warlow hits the window. Jason goes over to look out and Andy tells him that he got him. About that time Warlow gets up and grabs Andy and heads into the house. Warlow smacks Andy’s head into a post and knocks him out. He hits Jason and Violet with a faerie light. Violet gets knocked out cold. Bill comes up behind him but can’t stake him because he doesn’t have the power to do so. Warlow shoots Bill out into the yard and he gets knocked out to. Warlow picks up Jason and ask where he can lock them up. Warlow throws Jason and Andy in the cubby with Adeline. Warlow heads upstairs to get Sookie. Sookie is walking back in forth in her shower trying to get her light to work when Warlow picks her up. Warlow tells her she will learn to love him. Sookie tells him she doesn’t think so. Sookie tells him she is not his damaged pet. Warlow is about to bite her when Niall (not of One Direction) comes out of the wall and grabs Warlow. Niall tells Jason he could use a little help and Jason stakes Warlow (another one bites the dust, or in this case I guess it would be goo). When the light leaves Warlows blood it also leaves all the other vampires.
Which brings me to Eric sitting naked in the snow in Sweden reading a book. (No freaking way this just happened!!!! I could insert in some roasting wiener jokes here buti won’t!! This damn show just set Eric ablaze!!!! Holy hot dead vampires!!!! I cannot believe I just saw that!!! All the hotness Alcide possesses will never make up for this!!!! I’m never watching this show again!!! That cannot be the way Eric goes out!!!!
Six months and one fine ass dead vampire later Bill is on a show talking about the tell all book he wrote. Apparently he admits to killing Burrell in said book. The host ask him if he is afraid he will faces charges for murdering him. Bill tells him after everything Burrell did (Hep V) people should be thanking him. (Or something to that effect I’m still to choked up over Eric to think straight). Alcide walks in to pick up Sookie and carry her upstairs (Eric is totally donzo, I know this because if he were still alive that whole glamour Alcide so every time he thinks about doing the nasty with Sookie he hurls thing would still be working).
Speaking of doing the nasty Jason is giving Violet some oral pleasure. Jason gets up to unzip his pants and Violet tells him to keep it in them. Jason is frustrated that he pleases her and she doesn’t please him. Violet reminds him she said she wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
Sookie and Alcide are walking up to church (Sookie has onthe ugliest dress hat and flat shoes, and gloves to..it’s ridiculous she looks like a little old lady). Sam and Andy are discussing the separation of church and state. Andy tells Sam he will sit up there with him today but he won’t be coming with his daughter tonight. Sam tells him that’s a bad f**king call. The church has people lined up to get tested to see if they are carriers of Hep V. Sookie sees Jason and goes up to talk to him, he pushes her ahead of him. Jason ask Sookie if it hurts. She tells the they have both been through worse. Reverend Daniels and Lettie May are at the services. We get to see Lafayette, Arlene, and Nicole for like two seconds. Rev Daniels tells them that the sick vampires are coming to get them but if they stick together they can fight them. Sam is the Mayor btw. Apparently Sam and Bill have come up with a plan. It’s going to be at Arlene’s restaurant and bar that we find out the results of the test. Sam tells them they need to be in a relationship with a monogamous vampire.
At the social people are dancing and talking and eating (they grill alligators whole). Jessica is looking around for someone (Bill is my guess). Alcide and Sookie are both negative on the test. They make a deal to just stay for one hour. Will and Tara are talking when Lettie May walks up and tries to talk to Tara. Willa introduces herself to Lettie May and then she ask Willa to tell Tara to talk to her.
Tara and her mom go in a empty barn to talk. Tara wants to know what her mom wants. Lettie May wants to apologize for what a terrible mother she has been. She offers Tara her blood. Tara bites (literally). Her mom holds her and cries. ( I wonder what her mom is up to? Is she trying to protect Tara?)
Adeline and Andy are watching a beauty pageant on TV. Someone knocks on the door. Andy gets up to get it. It’s Jessica (that’s who she was looking for). She tells Andy she just wants to protect him and his daughter. Andy ask her what happens if he doesn’t want it. Jessica tells him he has it anyway. Andy holds the gun on her for a bit but then slams the door in her face. Jessica turns and walks to the from of the yard and stands.
Alcide and Sookie are walking their car to leave. Bill ask for a minute alone with Sookie. Alcide says no F**king way (because he knows it only takes a minute and then boom). Bill offers Sookie his protection. She says thanks but no thanks because even at his best she could never really trust him. Alcide ask Bill if he smells it. Bill says he does. Sookie wants to know what it is. It happens to be a bunch of infected vampires walking up to the social.
Of course the song played during the credits is Radioactive by Imagine Dragons.