True Blood Season 7 Episode 5 “Lost Causes” Review

True Blood Season 7 Episode 5 “Lost Causes” Review

Here’s what happened on True Blood Season 7 episode 5 “Lost Causes.”

We are halfway through to the end of True Blood my little ones. So tonight’s ep should be excellent. We pick up outside Fangtasia in the aftermath of last weeks episode. Eric is demanding well more like ordering Willa to come with him and Pam and do his bidding. Willa pretty much tells him he can fuck himself and that if it wasn’t for Tara she wouldn’t know the first thing about being a vampire. Willa tells him he was a shitty maker. Eric doesn’t disagree with her. Eric tells Willa he is going to go and get Sarah Newlin. Willa tells him good for him and there is no chance in hell she is tagging along but if you release me I’ll do you a solid and tell you everything I know about that crazy bitch and her whereabouts. Eric has no sooner gotten the I release you out of his mouth before he doubles over in pain. Pam acknowledges what a bitch it is by pointing out it’s like a hit in the kooch. Willa having gotten what she wanted keeps her end of the deal and informs the two that Sarah is with her sister that F.Y.I just happens to be a vampire. Willa tells them Sarah is most likely in Dallas. Guess where Eric and Pam are going? If you guessed Dallas you are absolutely correct.Meanwhile Sookie walks in her house and becomes upset when she sees Alcide’s jacket. Lafayette and his new buddy James show up. Lafayette is checking on Sookie, I assume James is there for moral support for Lafayette. Sookie tells Lafayette how empty her house is without Alcide there. Sookie tells him she need to clean up the house a bit because Alcide’s dad is comes in the morning. Lafayette thinks she has lost her damn mind tells her she needs some rest and sends her upstairs to sleep. Sookie ask Lafayette to stay. Lafayette tells her not to worry he will be right there when she wakes up.

What is supposed to be that evening but actually takes place about a second later is Sookie waking up to lots of sounds coming from downstairs. Did you want it to be Lafayette and James hooking up? I know I did. Anyway it’s when she gets downstairs it’s just tons of food and candles and people. Alcide’s dad pops up and tells her when she is ready for the packing up of Alcide’s things he will be more than happy to help her. Sookie kind of takes all that in and then heads over to Lafayette to ask where in the hell all,the food came from. Sookie wants to know if all of Bon Temps is coming to her house. Lafayette tells her there may be one of two people who don’t show up. JK. Sookie is clearly distressed that Lafayette wants to throw a party when Alcide has barely been dead a day. Lafayette explains it’s a celebration bitches. Not of death but of life. Then he throws the one two punch by stating this is what Alcide and Tara would have wanted. Tara maybe, Alcide probably not. Sookie is not buying what he is selling just yet. Before she can protest it some more there is a knock knock on her door. It’s Bill and he has a bunch if flowers because as he explains to Sookie his mother taught him to never show up to a party empty handed.

Over in Dallas Pam and Eric are on Sarah’s sister Amber’s doorstep. Eric demands Sarah. Amber tells him that her sister isn’t there. Apparently her sister is sick as well and her boyfriend already has died from it. Eric informs Amber that he and Pam are on a mission to find Sarah and then end her miserable life. Amber tells Eric she is on board. Pam takes a instant liking to her at that point. Amber tells Eric and Pam that Sarah is probably hiding out at their parents house. Their parents however are at a Gala.

Speaking of parties Sookies house is off the hook. They have a DJ and the liquor is flowing. Violet walks over to Sookie to tell her how sorry she is and give her a hug. Before Violet can get to wise on Sookie Bill saves her. Sookie isn’t out of the woods yet however because Alcide’s dad decides now is the time to give a little speech to everyone about his son. His dad goes in and on and tells everyone how Alcide only fought if it was worth fighting for and Alcide felt Sookie was worth fighting for. That one is gonna sting for a minute. They drink to Alcide.

Lettie Mae puts in a appearance. Lafayette wants her to leave but Sookie wants her to stay and say a few words about Tara. Even though you know Sookie is far more capable of doing it. Lettie Mae talks about Tara and is surprisingly heartfelt and sincere. Lettie Mae wants everyone to raise a glass to Tara.

Jessica is kicking rocks outside when Andy invites her in. Jessica refuses. Andy lets her know that her being difficult isn’t helping anyone least of all herself. Andy lets Jessica know he is planning on moving forward and would like her help in this matter. Andy then ask Jessica if she you know might have a spare ring just lying around. Jessica puts two and two together and realizes he plans on asking Holly to marry him. Jessica tells Andy she knows of a ring and then corners Sookie and ask if she can have their grandmothers ring for Andy. Jason is the one who has the ring. Violet tells him she doesn’t need a ring (WTF assume much?) Jason gives Andy the ring.

Andy goes back downstairs and heads straight for Holly. Holly who has been to hell and back ask Andy what’s wrong. Andy offers a reply by way of getting down on one knee. Andy tells her he isn’t sure how to say it but he has wanted to for a very long time but something always kept getting in the way. Andy tells her it wasn’t until she was kidnapped that he realizes he was standing in his own way because he didn’t feel he deserved a woman like Holly. Andy gets to the please wear this ring part and Holly screams yes. Andy tells her she can’t say yes because he hasn’t asked her yet and quit ruining my moment woman. Holly apologizes. Andy ask Holly to marry him and she screams yes again. Smiles and drinks and congrats all around.

Sookie is on the verge of tears and no doubt a breakdown of sorts. Thankfully Arlene who is looking pretty amazing for a woman who almost died twenty four hours ago and should be at home with her kids cherishing every moment notices and drags Sookie upstairs. Sookie tells Arlene that she is having a hard time dealing with the fact Alcide is gone. They talk some more but I’m kind of distracted by the fact that Alcide’s dad has snuck close enough to hear everything they are saying.

Lafayette is listening to James bitch about how Jessica is only stringing him along. Lafayette being the mind reader that he is understands completely grabs some of James hair and then starts kissing him. James does not object nor pull away and the kissing becomes deeper and longer.

Back to Eric and Pam they are getting ready for the Gala. Pam is in some glittery looking dress that I really do not like, she calls herself a republican cunt. Eric removes his shirt and its a heartbreaking site to see. Eric confirms to Pam that he is now stage 2. Eric tells her they both know he is going to die and to please hide his veins so that they can go find Sarah. Worst shirtless Eric scene ever.

Arlene is cornered by the vampire who saved her life (Kevin?) he tells her that she is by far the most beautiful woman he has ever seen in all of his 300 years.

Jessica is out looking for James and man oh man does she find him and he isn’t alone. James is doing ummmmm stuff with Lafayette in a car. Jessica tells James he is a incredible asshole which I guess is a step up from just your regular every day asshole. Jessica storms back into the house and demand that Jason rescind James invite into the house after she caught him pounding Lafayette. Jason always the Jessica pleaser does just as he was ordered. Jason then ask the question of the night. He wants to know how Jessica couldn’t have possibly known James was gay what with him being a sensitive musician. Haha. Before Jessica can find a way to look less stupid Lafayette knocks on the door and informs Jessica that James is not the man for her. Lafayette tells her she needs to step off and let him give James what he needs.

Sookie notices Bill standing outside lost in thought and she ask him if it’s okay to come out. Bill tells her he is heading home. Sookie wraps her arms around him and thanks Bill for seeing her the way she can’t always see herself. Sookie goes back in the house and instantly is bombarded with everyone’s thoughts. She focuses in on Lettie Mae who is bound and determined to get more of Willa’s blood even if it means stabbing her so that she can once again hear Tara. Sookie takes off after her but gets there about a second to late. Willa gets stabbed. Lafayette takes Lettie Mae out. Willa is ok if anyone was wondering.

Sam’s very pregnant wife finally can’t keep up her composure and freaks out because they are having parties while people are dead or dying. Sam wisely decides to take her home after she correctly points out that everyone in Bon Temps is insane. When your right, your right.

After informing Wade and Adylin if they are fucking they need to cut that shit out Jason has a conversation with Jessica in which she admits Lafayette was right. Jason then tells Jessica that Violet is not the person he wanted to have wearing his grandmothers ring. Jessica who knows a hint when she hears it calls him the sweetest man in the world and kisses him. I so know where this is headed.

Pam is freaking out, she thinks the Gala is one of the most disturbing things she has ever seen. Mind you this is Pam and she has seen a lot of shit in her day.

In the Gala bathroom we see Sarah telling her mother she is in uber trouble and needs help. Sarah tells her that some Japanese gangsters are out to get her.

Jessica and Jason are just banging away. So are they back on? Or still off?
Don’t think it matters much because Violet is listening to every moan and you can tell from the look in her face she didn’t get the memo and that Jessica better run for her life.

Good news is Eric and Pam manage to get Sarah. Bad news is he has to let her go when one of those pesky Japanese gangsters shows up.

Sookie is in bed laying with Alcide’s jacket breathing his smell in.

Bill is in his tub at home thinking about his pre vampire life. Bill is telling his wife she is his his first love that he will love forever and that he will be back after the war.

Bill gets out of the tub and covers himself with a towel. Bill looks in a mirror and see his veins. Bill has Hep-V. Are they going to pull a Tarantino and Kill Bill? Does Sookie also have it since she took a nip of Bill’s blood? Five more eps to go.

The END!

What a great episode, if you want to know what is going to happen next week our sister site Celeb Dirty Laundry already spoiled it with great tidbits and a sneak peek video right here.