Catch up on your favorite horror comedy with this recap and review of Scream Queens Season 1, Episode 3 ‘Haunted House’. Get the latest on top TV shows with all of Hollywood Hiccup’s recaps by clicking here…
2015 was a great year for Chanel Oberlin and her 752 Instagram fans. Starting in early October, fans of Chanel would receive a Jack-O-Lantern emoji on their socials. 🎃
From one Chanel Oberlin.
Parcels began to appear on their doorsteps in what became tenderly known as “Chanel-O-Ween.”
These are their stories.
A video starts playing of Chanel and a bunch of Halloween ….sorry I mean Chanel-O-Ween decorations. Chanel states that she owns Halloween. It’s her jam. It’s the most important day of the year. She says it’s the one day of the year you can go around terrifying little children and not be branded a psychopath…..Chanel says she is a future news anchor who is super classy (cough) and has almost no fat on her body. She goes on to say that a lot of her fans are friendless dumpy co-eds.
She says Chanel-O-Ween is the one time of the year she can give these donkeys something to look forward to. She picks up a skull and starts walking. She says they put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love her. She kisses the skull. Chanel says Chanel-O-Ween is approaching so she went shopping with grandmas credit card and bought presents. She starts ticking off names to go with the gifts she bought everything from razor apples to severed heads. Next you see people opening the gifts and reading cards she put in them. One states that she is merely in it for her own personal gain. Next it shows Chanel in a car talking about a lady named Susan who is always posting sad videos so Chanel decides to deliver her gift in person. After a few more gushings of Chanel is the greatest ever and I love you and I would do anything for you montages the actual show starts.
The cops are inside the sorority house investigating. They are talking to the Dean. The cop ask her if she saw a home in a Red Devil costume. She says no sir I did not. The cop says he has one last question he ask if she is coming to the precinct bash. The Dean tells him she wouldn’t miss it for the world. The cop tells her she is free to go. Gigi and Wes can’t believe it. The cop says that the Dean has been a pillar of the community for over three decades and to suggest she is the killer is offensive. Gigi yells that she is the killer. The Dean points out everything she would have to have done in the course of ninety seconds. Wes still believes it was here. The Dean creepily comes on to Wes and tells him he is going to be her date to the faculty Halloween party and they are going as Little Bo Peep and her sheep. She strokes his leg with her foot.
Denise comes running in and tells them about the frat boy douche who had his arms taken off with a chainsaw. Denise points out that not only is she not a detective she isn’t a cop. However she is someone who watched everyone of those Cosby mysteries so she knows that killers fingerprints will be on the chainsaw. The cop gets the call about the frat boy. Denise gets excited and says yes I was one step ahead of the po po. She looks up at the sky and tells Chanel No. 2 that if she is in the Beat Buy parking lot in the sky she just wants her to know she is going to solve this crime.
Grace and Pete drive up to a trailer and get out. They have on their Halloween costumes it’s How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. Pete tells her he will do all the talking. Grace says fat chance. They knock on the door. A woman answers and they tell her they are there for early trick or treating. She ask who they are and they tell her they are Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. The woman says they are there to talk to her about that night at Kappa house. Pete looks surprised and asks her how she knew. The woman says she has been waiting twenty years for someone to come around asking about it. She waves them in to her house. The woman tells them she is sorry she didn’t know who they were dressed as but she has been off the grid ever since that night. She tells them to sit. Grace says she wants Brandy to tell them what she remembers from that night. Pete does his best McConaughey impression as he tells her they will keep her name out of it. Grace tells him to zip it. She tells Brandy to please continue. Brandy tells them that her life was split into before that night and after. Grace ask if the story about the bathtub is real. Brandy says damn right it’s real I was there.
Flashback to that night. It’s Brandy and the other Kappa girls and the Dean. One of them ask if they are going to call the police. The Dean ask if they have ever heard of negligent homicide. She tells them if they call the police they will all go to jail for leaving her there to die while they were getting into the grove. Ms. Bean says she has everything in the kitchen to make sausages she can just do that and either sale them at the Farmers Market or feed them to these bitches for dinner. The Dean says they are going to bury her. She heads downstairs to end the party so they can sneak her out. The one holding the baby says she will stay and take care of it. The Dean says fine and heads out. She tells Grace and Pete that the Dean made them wear hoods so they wouldn’t know where they buried the body. As the girls are digging the grave the Dean tells them they will all have to leave the school immediately. She suggest they avoid contact with each other ever again. The Dean tells them to leave the details to her. She is the administration liaison and if a sorority pledge does under her supervision her career is over. She says the girls dreams or as dead as she is while hers still burn bright. She tells the girls she is protecting them and they may see her as a monster now but years from now when they are living in houses full of furniture from the pottery barn they will see her for what she truly is their Guardian Angel. They throw her in the ground. The Dean tells them hoods back on.
Brandy tells Grace she left the next day. She says the other girls moved away and she heard one of them killed themselves. Another one was institutionalized and the third is doing pretty well. She says Munsch put the fear of God into them that night and she is the devil. Brandy tells them they can’t tell her that she talked to them. Grace ask what happened to the baby. Brandy says she doesn’t know but that the baby was a girl. Grace says that isn’t right. Brandy tells her she looked at the baby up close and she knows her peas from her carrots that it was a girl. Grace takes a deep breath and says Oh My God.
Earl Grey is with Zayday and tells her she has his full support in running for Kappa President. Zayday ask him why he cares. Earl Grey sits in front of her. He tells her that he believes that they stand for the change that is needed to keep fraternity and sorority houses around for generations to come . Zayday says you and I. Then she ask if he is thinking about running for president of the Dollar Scholars. Earl Grey tells her no. Zayday ask if he really thinks she can be Chanel. Earl Grey says with the right campaign theme. Earl Grey tells her to throw a party that’s a fundraiser for a cause that’s close to her heart. Zayday is on board.
Over in the Kappa house kitchen the girls are carving pumpkins. Grace is distracted and Zayday ask her what’s wrong. Grace says she needs to talk to her dad first. Then she brings up the fact they are in the same place Ms. Bean got her face burned off in. Chanel comes in and says Ms. bean isn’t dead she is haunting and killing people with her fatness. Chanel tells the girls to show her their pumpkins. They go down the line one by one. They get to Zayday and she turns her and it says “Yes I Can.” Chanel ask what that’s about. Zayday tells her she plans on running for Kappa president. Chanel drops her pumpkin and yells What? Chanel tells Zayday she doesn’t thinks she understands the magnitude of the miscalculation she just made. Chanel tells her she can assure her she won’t be winning a election anytime soon and she she loses she is going to make it her life long passion to ruin her reputation. Zayday offers this as a rebuttal….. Let me brew you up a hot cup of tell it like it is. You are a stuck up little sociopath and everyone in this room knows it. I’m reasonably sure these girls will kick your psycho ass to the curb he first chance they get. She accuses Chanel of murder. Chanel tells her she didn’t kill Ms. Bean but is he does murder someone it’s going to be her. Chanel stalks off.
Later she is sitting in her room sharpening her knives when three and five come in. It three a.m and they are concerned about her mental health. Chanel says kitchen knives should be razor sharp and then starts to cry. She starts walking around waving knives everywhere. They calm her down and they decide to have a hunted pumpkin patch fundraiser for people with a black hairy tongue. SMH… Chanel couldn’t be happier. They hug.
Brandy is watching Leprechaun and trying to feed her pet squirrel popcorn. Guess who shows up…..did you guess the Red Devil? If so you are correct and win a front row seat to her murder….congratulations!!!!!
In other news Chad likes to frequent cemeteries and rub one out on the headstone that turns him on the most. No. 6 tells him she gets it. She tells him she also finds dead bodies extremely arousing. Chad tells her the only time he feels anything is when he is thinking about chopping up a body. She tells him she feels the same way. She tells him that she wants everything Chanel has and that includes him. She goes on to say that when she becomes Kappa president in a round in about way ….involves a flight of stairs …… He will once again be dating the top bitch and this bitch puts out. Chad tells her he needs to do it right now. She tells him the cemetery isn’t scary enough. She tells Chad to keep her phone on and maybe in the next few days he will get a phone call from so someone with a scary location to meet at and maybe if he is lucky she will let him in the backdoor. Chad is about to lose it. She winks says bye and walks away. Chad bends over says what and then ask the tombstone if it saw that.
Wes is in the middle of showing the girls another scary movie in class. Wes ask what could be scarier to a adult than a child coming to murder them…. He compares it to the fear the pain the regrets of our youth destroying us as adults. That we can’t escape our inner child. The one who at the end of the day has all the power. He tells them he will see them next Tuesday. Grace starts accusing her dad of being the killer and her being the baby from the Kappa house. He tells her she is wrong, Grace doesn’t believe him and takes off. She gets a text telling her to come to 53 Shady Lane from Pete. He heads
towards the house.
Grace walks into the house. Pete jumps out and scares her. She tells him not to do that. She ask him why they are even there. Pete tells her to find out who the baby was. Zayday and Earl jump out and scare Pete. Grace says see what I mean it’s not funny. Grace ask Zayday what she is doing there. Zayday says she is having her haunted house party there. Denise walks in and scares all four when she says the hell you will. Denise says it’s haunted. Pete says she is right and then in unison they say they did some research down at the library. They look at each other. Then they take turns telling the story about a woman who lived in the house and used to wail about her dead children. Denise says people said it was a raccoon singing …..lol…until they saw her standing in the window dressed in all black. Denise ask if they know what those kids found that snuck in the house….. Upstairs we see its a bunch of dolls that the woman collected from around the neighborhood. Pete tells Grace it happened in 1995 the same year as the bathtub baby. Zayday tells them not to touch anything this can be one of the rooms for the haunted house. She has a huge smile on her face. Denise ask if she can talk to her for a minute in private.
Denise ask her what she is up to at the house. Zayday explains about the fundraiser. Denise thinks it’s Zayday’s way of being able to kill more people. Zayday accuses Denise of being the killer. Zayday tells her she knows how she pledged Kappa.
Flashback to Denise getting thrown out of the Kappa house because she is black.
Zayday says then she dropped out of college. Denise says and enrolled in community college. Denise claps. Denise tells her that’s good sleuthing. Zayday says she is going to become the first black Kappa president and that is just going to make Denise wanna kill kill kill. Denise tells her to have a Happy Halloween and to fun at her haunted house party. Denise tells Zayday she has her eyes on her.
Chanel and her minions are handing out fliers to her party in the pumpkin patch. She expresses how the killer could show up at the party kill someone and everyone would think its a decoration. One of her Chanel’s points out that was way to thought out….I’m going to have to agree with her. They decide to eat cotton balls for lunch until No. 6 points out its kind of lame. Chanel agrees and decides they should get pizza instead. They run into a guy who ask which one of them he will be wearing as his Halloween costume. Chanel tells him guys like him are the reason girls have eating disorders. He replies with so I’m the reason your so hot ….. You are welcome. They give him the WTF look…. He explains that being a douche is his signature move. No. 6 shows him hers which is a kick to the balls. He calls her a bitch and Chanel says she is the bitch and punches him in the face the other three do the same. They have him down literally kicking his ass. No. 6 said he wanted to see her smile while check it out she is smiling. The cafeteria applauds. Chanel stops long enough to bat her eyelashes and smile but then it’s right back to kicking his ass.
Chad meets No. 6 at the haunted house and says they should head to the basement. Chad ask her name. She wants to be called Hester. Sweet Hester it is. Before Chad can so dutifully attack her crack as she requests they find what she assumes are wax figures. But once her finger goes into Ms. Bean they realize it isn’t. They systematically find the other dead bodies as well…..Coney with his head sawed off…., No. 2… Brandy …. Everyone but Boone…..hmmm …..
Hester and Chad are sitting at a coffe shop stunned. Hester finally snaps out of it and realizes that they have to tell everyone so they won’t go to the party. Chad stands up and starts getting everyone’s attention. He tells everyone not to go because the haunted house on Shady Lane has dead bodies. So naturally everyone leaves to go. Chad yells Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Zayday and Grace arrive at the haunted house party and she ask everyone to leave. They tell her to shut up. They go to the back room and see Ms. Bean. Zayday leaves to call the polIce. The cop doesn’t believe Zayday when she calls. Zayday ends up outside. The Red Devil grabs her.
Grace is talking tot the police and says they need to file a missing person’s report. Chanel seems unbothered by it. Wes says that the Dean needs to shut doe. The campus. Munsch just looks at him and says oh hi Weston. He tells her about the five dead bodies they found in the house. Munsch and the cop insist that they all occurred off campus. They go down the list. Only two were students. The adults go to talk.
Grace tells Chanel they need to look for Zayday. Chanel declines. Grace says she looks more and more like the killer. Chanel and her click head upstairs.
Grace tells Pete she found some police reports that there were two incidents before the sounds were heard in the house. One involved a woman in black stealing diapers and another where she stole milk. Grace and Pete figure out she was taking care of the baby. Grace says they have to figure out who the woman was.
Back at the house we see the woman all in black and she’s crying and it’s Gigi!!!!!